so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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