my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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