Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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