butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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