whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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