She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
