Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
