What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
