his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
