I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
