Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i need an iv and a liver transplant
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
