Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
