She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
