No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
