Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
