i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she looked like the before picture.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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