it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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