Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
