My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
