you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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