please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
