so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Can I color on your dick again?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
