I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
