dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
