did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
