You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
