Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
