you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
