Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
