i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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