I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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