I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
