yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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