either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
