my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
