Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
