Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
