I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
