I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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