but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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