Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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