I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
