Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
