He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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