I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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