do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
