He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Mom said you looked used
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
