booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
