You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
