seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
