Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Pants are for mortals
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
